There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. Friedrich Nietzsche
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I am not a patient person. Just ask my friends. I am impulsive and I want what I want when I want it. I don't like waiting. Waiting to grow up, waiting to finish school, waiting to get married and have children. My life is full of waiting and it's a daily struggle to learn the patience I need in order to make it at this one-day-at-a-time pace the world has designed for me.
I have not seen my husband for 62 days and 22 hours. This is the absolute longest we have ever been apart since we met in August of 2001. It is absolute torture some days when I want nothing more than to hold him in my arms and kiss him until I'm breathless. I know all the reasons that this decision we made is the right one. I know that it will put us on a path to attaining everything we want as a family, but it all comes down to that waiting thing again.
I try to keep myself busy to keep from thinking about how much I miss my husband. I try to fill up the time with family, friends, work, and college... but when I'm there lying alone in the dark trying to fall asleep without my best friend beside me the hours seem to stretch into forever. I know that I only have to suffer for another 16 nights alone until I will have him home with me again.
Each time I think about how close I am to hugging and kissing my husband my entire being feels lighter, like there is a weight lifted off my shoulders. To know that soon I won't be sleeping alone or eating dinner alone when friends cannot be found to share a meal with makes all my waiting worth it. I refuse to let reality seep in and remind me that after those 12 wonderful days and nights that I will have to face another 10 weeks alone before having him home for good.
Reality will just have to wait.
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